Wednesday, March 17, 2010

1979?

"...I love you."
Silence and holding.
"Did you have an orgasm?" She climbs on top of me, kissing me wildly, caressing me. It means "oh, yes!" She has a hard time expressing herself verbally, when emotions are involved - but I insist.
"Did you?"
"Of course. Why do you have to ask?"
"Well, because some girls...well, I want you to feel good, too. I care about you."
I feel like I use that phrase too much. It's just that she thinks "love" is too heavy for us right now, so I substitute "care" in normal conversation and only use "love" spontaneously.
"You'll have to let me lie flat." She's been having a problem with her back for, I guess, over a week, now. She thinks it's got something to do with some medication she's been prescribed. A side effect.
"Are you on the pill?"
"Yeah."
"I hope I didn't make you mad or anything."
"No, it's just - it's just that you never bothered to ask before. Now's a great time to ask. What if I had said no?"
"I did make you mad. I'm really sorry - really I am. I know that was rotten of me. But, if you had said "no", I would have suggested that we begin taking precautionary measures."
"This is the only form of birth control, besides abstinence, that I'll use."
"Condoms are 99% safe."
"Yeah, but I don't like them."
"Yeah, I don't either. Look, you've got to see a doctor about your back."
"It's like I keep saying: I can't get an appointment. And besides, I'm afraid he'll take me off the pill - and I really don't want that."
"Why?"
"You know why. I don't want to get pregnant. And I'd never even consider an abortion. It goes against my religion."
"What would you do if you got pregnant?"
'You'd never know about it. I'd move away and raise the baby as best I could. I wouldn't tell anyone. Not even my parents. They'd kill me."
"Listen, one reason I didn't ask about the pill until now is, well, I sort of took it for granted that you were on it. You know, because you're in nursing school and all."
'Yeah, I'm not stupid, but it's dangerous to take things for granted."
"I guess... Listen, I'm gonna buy you some cream for your back. You never know, it might help."
"OK."

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