The old guy I work with.

The old guy I work with asked the young guy I work with why he was "dragging in" one morning. Then he said, "That thing will suck the marrer rat out yer back bone." Followed by, "You'll turn that plate over and it'll be lookin' you rat in the face."
Me and the young dude just looked at each other as if to say WTF?
WTF, indeed.
I never know what he's talking about. Today, he was telling a long, rambling story about his misspent youth. About how when he went to school, instead going to class, he "farred the baller" all day.
I finally figured out that he was saying "fired the boiler."
One day he was talking about someone named Maholley. "Who?" I asked. He replied, "Maholley! Maholley! The president! Maholley!"
He thinks the president's name is Maholley.
He thinks Ms. Winfrey's name is Opal. Of course, that's better than getting Maholley from Obama.
He's really annoying, but picking on him is like shooting fish in a barrel.

I'll conclude this with one of his favorite expressions: "It's like throwin' money up a wild hog's ass and hollerin' sooey!"