July 2002. Repressed memories?

I've been thinking a lot lately about repressed memories. I used to think that was a lot of crap, but I'm beginning to wonder. Up until the 3rd grade I was a perfect student. The smartest kid in my school. Why did I suddenly freak out about going to school about half way through the 3rd grade? I would run away and hide in the woods. Or, try to go home.
My parents talked to me, scolded me, beat me, took me to a shrink, took me to a minister and made deals with me. Then, they beat me some more. Nothing worked. I was one scared, ashamed, panic-stricken kid. The other children made fun of me. The teachers all talked about me. I even remember the lunch lady saying something to me ("You're that little boy that runs away from school, aren't you?"). This went on through-out the 3rd grade, into the forth - which I failed. I had to repeat the forth grade. At the beginning of that year the principle said I was too smart to be in the forth grade again, so they promoted me to the fifth. Which I failed. I kept running away and missing days.
Then, for some reason, when I repeated the 5th grade, everything was OK. There was only one incident in which I panicked. I asked Ms. Arthur if I could go to the rest room and instead, I ran outside and hid in the gym doorway. I stood there a while, with the old feelings returning, but I managed to gain control of myself. I remember thinking that if I went back to class right then, no one would ever know about this. So, I did. And I was OK.
That was a horrible period for me. Three years of trauma. I never felt so alone. There were too many painful occurrences, too many details, to recount here.
But, the terror I felt at having to go to school, the major depression in my 20s, the sex, drug, food and alcohol excesses and the difficulties I've had trying to be a social animal (relationships, lack there-of) seem to point toward some powerful stimulus.
If I heard someone else describe the things I've been through, I would think that he or she had been abused as a child.
There. I said it.
But, I don't remember any abuse. That's where the notion of repression comes in. Is it possible? I certainly don't want to start making myself remember things that didn't happen...

I've been a little boy lost my whole life, it seems.