I suddenly realized that after this school year, there would be no one to ask questions to, or to get approvals from, for work that I had done. There would be no one to listen to my ambitions and dreams of the future, because the future will have already come. It would then be upon me.
I would never have so much idle time to spend with my friends, any more, if I have any friends left.They all seem to be getting into their own lives now. They're becoming so distant.
I guess I'm a misfit.
I thought about suicide today and decided it was a practical trip - not like all of the downing propaganda "they" hand you. You know, "the coward's way out," etc.
When I get out of school, I guess that will be the end of my reading, writing and music. I must be a hippie in the wrong decade or something. I was telling them and then I began telling myself, "I won't be like everyone else. I won't settle down in a double-wide, with a wife, a baby and a CB radio. I just won't do it." Soon, I began asking myself, "Will I settle down in a double-wide, with a wife and a...?" That's when I knew that I was gone.
Oh well, suicide... I'll put that away for awhile. Maybe, in a few years, I'll take it back out.
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