I planned my whole day, yesterday, around meeting someone for dinner last night. I went down town, at the agreed time (I was early) and waited at the river front park. I waited for 40 minutes, being bitten by mosquitoes. No date. No call.
It breaks my heart every time I go down town. Everyone is coupled up. Everyone but me.
On the way home, I was so depressed I stopped and got ice cream (very bad). It wasn't that the individual was such a big deal - I've been out with that person before and there were no major sparks - I was just overwhelmed by the feeling that I don't matter to anyone. I'm on the periphery of life. No one sees me. I'm washed out, broken and useless. Or, they DO see me - as someone to be avoided.
I've made a valiant effort, considering everything I've been through in the last few years, to be social. The fault lies with me, I'm sure. It's obviously something I'm doing wrong. But, what is it?
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It's not you and it was their loss. You are a great person and I care! You are a very kind and thoughtful person so don't let anyone bring you down!
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