People used to love me. (June 22, 1992. Monday. Letter 3.)

Actually it's the 23rd, Tuesday 12:02.

Dearest Jim -
I'm sitting here this morning in Cindy's apartment...stoned. I really don't know why I'm here - I should be with you. I'm so lonely. I miss you so bad. I haven't heard from you - via phone or letter - in/for several days. (Actually since Friday morning.) Why? I would call you but you asked me not to call your sister and ask for you and you said that Melrose didn't want "your friends" to call during business hours. I honestly thought you would call Friday night (at 7:pm) when you said you would call, but I knew after 8:pm that you had forgotten all about calling little ol' me. Of course I'm probably reading more into this than need be. If so - I'm sorry. I guess you just don't understand how very much you mean to me. Maybe you're just getting over me. God! Please don't let that happen. I'm sorry for all the hurt I've ever caused you. I promise (given the chance) I'll do nothing but give 100%+ to make things the way they should be between us. I know I sound really stupid (I'm STONED - in case I haven't mentioned it?!) but even in my present state I KNOW what I want! All I want is for us to be "us" again. I'm sorry about Cin deciding not to come down in July but it's still a few more days to July - maybe things will change. I know regardless I WILL be HOME - soon. I know it will work this time - I'VE GOT HOPE!!! We're expecting a baby. I know we don't talk about it much but it's all I think about.I'm REALLY excited (scared too). I wish you were. I know you're only apprehensive due to our past relationship experience. We have potential to be great and I'm tired of seeing that potential being taken for granted. I love you - and I don't want to lose you.
Well - it's off to sleep I go. Hopefully - I'll talk to you - tomorrow?
Please write me back. I need to hear from you.
All my love -
C.