I'm sitting here, all alone, at my desk. I've been searching for ghosts on my laptop. I found some. They're ghosts in my world, but they're actually thriving, dynamic, vital, complete people - in their world. They have each other. They're forging onward. The future is theirs.
So now I'm thinking what a loser I am. I've never completed anything. Nothing has ever gone as planned. I made nothing of myself. And now, there's no chance of anything positive happening. At 50, I'm finished. Down the hill I go.
I've really made a mess of my life. I feel like, at this point, I'm just taking up space. Old and in the way.
I talked to my dog and cat today. I went outside, for a little bit, and scraped some paint off of a dresser I'm trying to refinish. I ate. That's about it. It's PRIDE weekend in Wilmington. There was supposed to be a flash mob downtown, this morning. That might have been fun. I didn't go, of course. I stayed home, talked to my pets and scraped paint.
What is the point, I wonder? What is the point..?
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