Nothing for Granted.

Things have changed.
My mindset has altered.
My world view has morphed.
I don't take anything for granted, anymore.

I haven't had fun in years.
Everything is tinged with a somberness.
But, am I happy to be alive?
You betcha! I'm thrilled.

I experience life now with a sense of grandeur.
Or absurdity.
Or inconsequentiality.
It's everything and nothing, at the same time. (The Tao Te Ching makes a lot more sense to me, now.)

I long to see Europe, N.Y.C., California.
I can't see myself taking a long trip now.
I can't see myself being in love, again.
I can't imagine myself ever being successful at anything.

As Bogus Trumper's friend Couth once said, I am "just a Living Man."
(Google Bogus. Read the book.)

I love strawberries. And the beach.
Art still excites me.
And, of course, music.
How could I not have a strong bond with something that has kept me from doing myself in, over the years?
Listen to Lou Reed's "Berlin." Or not.

I want to make a film.
"Death Metal Luv Juice!"
I wonder if my friend Gerg Notlimah is still alive.
If he's still living in a bedroom in his mother's house, with blankets nailed up over the windows.
Is he still a Knight of the Rosy Cross?

Things have changed.
I don't take anything for granted, anymore.