Ok, this is awful. I'm warning the reader. This is a couple of teen boys - who were good friends, mind you - sending notes back and forth, in class, trying to out-insult each other. One was my friend W. The other, I'm sorry to admit, was me (J).
W: May Marlon Perkins drive his jeep across your testes, secretion breath.
J: May Jane Goodall have a sexually deprived male baboon apply head to the phallic instrument you had attached to your body, through surgery. Also, may she teach you the baboon mating scream ("Cum to me, chickadee").
W: May Barbara Walters get you sexually excited and then "turn you over" to Harry Reasoner.
J: May Harry Reasoner get you sexually excited then tell you "Barbara is on vacation this week."
W: May Ed McMahon get you sexually excited and then introduce Johnny's guest host. Please don't reply, flush bowl breath.
Another day.
W: Your mama dates the Dallas Cowboys, every one of them. She owns Dawson St. every Friday and Saturday night. She hires you out every Tuesday for her "happy" customers. What do you have to say to that, ball breath?
J: Not much. I'm too busy brushing my teeth and dusting off my calling card, 'cause I've got a date with your mother, moose fucker.
W: You've got a date with your barber to get your teeth shaved.
You cut me down
I must confess
But in your mouth
My dick lies best.
J: Drill a hole in yourself and watch the sap run out.
W: May a strange holy man bite your ass and fuck your mother.
J: May he NOT, nocturnal emission breath.
W: Hustle my balls, circumcision breath.
J: You can't get no cunt
You're just a runt
You can't get no head
You jack off in bed
Your mom thinks you're sick
You play with your dick (in church)
Your walls are so sticky, nasty M----.
(I warned you, didn't I?)
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