I met someone today. Someone I had been talking to online. It won't amount to anything, but it is evidence, I think, of my willingness to keep trying. To carry on. After everything I've been through, and taking into account my current health issues, I think I deserve some praise for making an effort. For not giving up hope.
I'm going to Chapel Hill in the morning. I have to get up rather early - it's a 3 hour drive. I'm to see my cardiologist. I hope it goes well.
I realized today that I'm nothing special. I'm not that smart or talented or gifted in any way. I haven't contributed anything to the world. I've just been floating along my whole life, with no direction or goal. You can get away with that when you're young - in fact it's sort of attractive, I think - but when you're middle aged, it isn't so pretty. I'm not being negative or pessimistic, I'm just facing the facts. Facing the facts is a positive thing, no?
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